What: EDSBS LIVE online radio.

Why listen? Because the Deadliest Catch doesn’t come on until after the show, and because we’ll be discussing the Big 12, America’s rootin’, tootin’-est conferences. To keep the regional theme constant, we’ll be handing out fried Snickers and toilet bowl meth…very, very politely, mind you.

Where: At NowLive, where you can chat with each other and the show hosts throughout the broadcast in the online forum (which remains damn lively). To phone in to the show, just call (310) 984-7600.

Who: Tonight’s special guests are Chip Brown from the Dallas Morning News and Seth J from Double T Nation (Texas Tech). Guaranteed bonus Mike Leach pirate discussion should be enough, but we’ll throw in a real journalist just for the hell of it.

Four Questions: As always, our four questions for the night.

1. Who emerges atop the Big 12 scrum this year? Oklahoma State. The offense has Bobby Reid pulling strings, Larry Fedora calling plays sans shoestrings (even with them he did a fine job at Florida), and a nice upward trend from 4-7 to 7-6 last year. A young coach, improved defense, and no one looking out for them all strike the eye as fetching, like a comely lass in a parasol we’d like to buy a sarsparilla for at the park.

(Anyone with any brains will pick Oklahoma or Texas. But that’s not us, and you know it.)

2. Now take it a step further. Does the winner of the Big 12 play for the BCS Title game this year? Sure, if there’s not an undefeated Big East team, who would face a one-loss LSU or Pac-10 team. Oklahoma may have a slight edge, since Texas would have the shameful pygmy heads of Arkansas State, UCF, and Rice as trophies in an undefeated scenario, weak nancies, all of ‘em. At least the Sooners could claim Miami (FL), even in year one under Randy Shannon, which would give them a slight SOS advantage.

Then again, Texas could claim Oklahoma if they won…which is why the strongest candidate would be an undefeated Oklahoma State team, since they could have Georgia’s scalp on their resume, too, provided UGA sleepwalks through their opener as they’re wont to do from time to time, along with Oklahoma and Texas, too. They’d be the strongest candidate, but again, since we’ve picked them it ain’t happening.

One albatross, however: human beings still being a factor here, Oklahoma will suffer for crapping out against USC and LSU in recent BCS championships, no matter the circumstances. People have short memories, but they have ‘em, fair or not.

3. If I paid you $500,000 would you permanently move to Nebraska? If not, what’s the threshhold? $1,000,000? $10m? For how long would you move to Nebraska for $500,000? For $500K, we would sleep in an open pasture in Nebraska for a year. That’s 500 large, there. As long as the pasture had wireless, we would be fine. Which in all likelihood means we wouldn’t do it.

4. Because our show is so dependent on juvenile humor, the obligatory sex question: What’s the sexiest mascot in the Big 12?

We go pirate, of course, but only because the words “Pirate Fetish Machine” beg to be used in a band name, tattoo, or novel title.

You’ll never look at Baylor the same way.

Talk to you tonight.

The big board is in need of some updates. Follow along below.

First, old business. A weekend of Vegas debauchery delayed this score, but Bobby Maurice Purify polished up an already impressive resume of offseason naughty (two counts of assault, failure to comply, resisting arrest and trespassing five weeks earlier) with an arrest on suspicion of drunk driving at 12:25 am last Friday. Purify, already Nebraska’s leading scorer for 2007 without putting on a single pad, racks up another two points pending further details on the incident. Coach Bill Callahan has indefinitely suspended him and offered no further comment other than that he remains smarter than you can ever hope to be, you fucking redneck.

UGA’s Fulmer Cup points never come from a dark, malevolent quarter of human nature. (more…)

We’ll post the Fulmer Cup scoreboard in a bit, but we’re trying to track down exactly what the charges are going to be involving two Florida Gators, Brandons Powell and James. There’s an increasingly well-documented series of accusations about the two of them being arrested on Sam Donaldson-serious drug charges last niight. We’ll dig and figure this out.

In the meantime, um…smile?

Cocaine, scales-yes, we’re back from Vegas. Any association of our trip with these words is strictly your own. We kid, of course-who staying at the Imperial Palace could afford anything but bathtub meth?

We’re losing! To a guy who looks like the lead singer of Mudhoney! We can’t let Tebow down like this-he’s watching and hears all. Go over to the Ladies…and vote us into the third round, dammit. For Tim. For Justice. For us.

Avery Atkins, who went from Florida starter-to-be to domestic violence arrest and instant castoff, had been told that there was the slightest sliver of a chance for his return to Florida. This was predicated on Atkins behaving perfectly for somewhere between a year and two years, most likely. He’s not exactly doing this, though he is making strides in the Robert Downey Jr. Category for Most Incriminating Items in a Single Arrest:

Former Florida and Bethune-Cookman football player Avery Atkins was released on bail Saturday after Daytona Beach police arrested him Friday night during an operation addressing narcotic and traffic violations, police said.

The officers smelled marijuana. They then searched Atkins and two other passengers in his car, finding drugs, a gun and a digital scale, Garvin said.

Perhaps not as incriminating as this…

…but close. Atkins attracted the interest of police for illegal tint in his windows, again proving our point that if you want to be a successful drug dealer on the run, buy a shitass Ford Tempo and get an eighty-year old woman to be your courier. Retirees are looking for something to do, anyway.

Another former Sunshine State standout hasn’t learned the eighty-year-old-retiree-coke-courier trick: (more…)