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This promises to be a very hectic Friday in the real world for us, so we'll issue apologies ahead of time and issue cheesecake early. Okay, we are busy, but the cheesecake, being of such an awe-inspiring variety, can't really wait any longer, being so close to its freshness peak an all.

Presente: Doris Mar, as rec'd by DC Trojan. Sure, she's cheesecake, but cheesecake with an environmental conscience, as evidenced by her posing in a skimpy swimsuit in an ad campaign imploring mexican men to not eat sea turtle eggs. The ad is persuasive enough:

Don't eat turtle eggs, or women who look like this will not sleep with you.

Doris also got involved in a unique immigration case which should (more than any other case involving botched visa applications, snaking, endless airport security lines, or government waste) convince you that the Department of Homeland Security is the worst fucking idea ever.

From Wikipedia:

In 2006, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security abruptly deported in handcuffs, Dorismar and her husband/manager Alejandro (Alex) Schiff to Argentina, asserting that she was an illegal alien in the United States. Dorismar has contested this effort, claiming that her physical attributes place her in the category of "alien of extraordinary ability", which would allow her to seek residency in the U.S. based on her talents.

More examples of her extraordinary ability below, which are barely safe for work.

Rural lady motif! Kant reed= dubbul hott!

Latina cheesecake always requires the combo of hot pants/ass shot/expensive car.

And finally...

Jeebus. There's supposed to be a proper caption here, but there's not.