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EDSBS LIVE! THE LOSERS EDITION

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What: EDSBS LIVE online radio Click that or the banner thingy to your right to listen.

Where: At NowLive, where you can chat with each other and the show hosts throughout the broadcast in the online forum (which has gotten damn lively). To phone in to the show, just call (310) 984-7600.

What: Tonight's special guest is...YOU. Because every guest we have is special. Also because we dawdled, couldn't find anyone for the show, and have to just stock our hour and a half with wall-to-wall listener mayhem. So if you call tonight, we'll get you on, and get you off in only the way that two sexed-up dorkbots like Peter and ourselves can.

Four Questions: As always, our four questions for the night.

1. What is the worst team you've ever seen? Vandy, Rice, and Prairie View are all eligible receivers here, though if you have a really, really good one for a single year, we'll take that, too.

Anyone of Carl Franks' Duke teams is a good call, though '99 South Carolina's also a spicy pick: 0-11, and tore down the goalposts after beating New Mexico State the next year.

2. Tell us the team you would wish football anthrax on.

Tennessee. A thousand times, Tennessee. Just because their sorrow fills us with such joy, an we're not joking: when they lose, we have the power to point to dying flowers and instantly bring them back to life, and beer flows in rivers from our nipples. Unlike John Daly, that's actually the result of temporary magical powers, and not a side effect of overconsumption.

3. Who's the worst player/play you've ever seen?

Reggie Ball in any game against Georgia ever. His upward curve of ineptitude against a single opponent made you weep on principle alone. Forgetting the down, throwing interceptions on the final play of the game, fumbling, doing all three at once while getting into a fight with the trainer...Ball under center against Georgia wasn't sport. It was illustrated cruelty ballet in form-fitting fabric and padding.

4. Because we asked what the best song was last week...what's the worst possible song you can think of to make love to?

Anything by System of a Down? We'll toss any prog-rock into the nominations barrel, simply because of the time changes. If you're fucking in 5/4 time one second and switching to a tricky samba the next, you're going to break your dick or lose gap control and rush the wrong hole in the line, son. And nothing ruins a good game like rushing through the wrong hole without audibling clearly.