clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

ADIOS, ELLIS T. JONES

New, 31 comments

If you haven't checked SMQ's superb Hub pieces in the a.m., you should, because he reads everything all the time about college football. In Yodaspeak, he is the do, while we're merely the try thanks to our insistence on reading other things like porn, racing forms, and international affairs journals.

Anyway, two great tidbits from the Hub this morning. First, Florida's teflon gets slicker by degrees as Dustin Doe, the Florida linebacker charged with affray (fighting more than one person at once,) has his charges dropped thanks to authorities being unable to identify who started the fight in the first place.

The Stop Snitchin' movement working for us, Florida fans! Snitches, stitches. Learn it, live it.

The other bit worth mentioning is the conviction of a Fulmer Cup legend: Ellis T. Jones, the man who inspired the Ellis T. Jones Award for Individual Achievement, was convicted of robbing a pizza parlor, an incident not even involved with his tasering of people looking for deals on Craigslist. Jones could do five years for the robbery, and hasn't even begun to deal with his tasering/robbery case yet

In happy news, Jones had still more charges against him dropped, an attempted murder and robbery charge the judge called "too much, really, just too much, Ellis!" He didn't say this, by the way. But he should have, dammit, twirling his toupee like Rip Taylor and throwing confetti in the air at the same time.


The judges in our imagination are much better than real life ones.