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SPRING GAME SLAPDOWN: NOTRE DAME ET. AL

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Notre Dame's Blue and Gold Game ended without Jimmy Clausen winning a Heisman trophy. Corwin Brown's defense hogged the spotlight as honorary coaches Lou Holth and Ara Parseghian presided over a retro ND affair, a 10-6 victory for the Gold team over the hated, hated Blue.


Ara: on the sidelines for the Blue and Gold Game, and almost caught a pass from Jimmy Clausen. If he had, he would have turned into a unicorn made of money, because that's what Jimmy Clausen's passes do.

No quarterback emerged from the four-way race for the starting gig, though Evan Sharpley did go 5-7 for 31 yards, a total that put him slightly on top on a day when Weis wanted to focus on toughening up what he called a soft offense. Sharpley also racked up negative 39 yards in sack yardage, putting him at 8 under and just ahead of Vijay Singh going into the back nine.

Given spring games and the dichotomies inherent in playing a game against yourself, the trends are clear:

1. Notre Dame's offense is going to suck, suck, suck/ Notre Dame's 3-4 is going to baffle people, especially in an improved secondary.

2. The run game is going to be the emphasis of the offense/ The quarterbacks could not complete an outlet pass to a stickum-handed troll wearing flashing neon gloves.

3. Ty Willingham's name will be brought up in wrathful terms every time an onrushing defender knocks a year off the quarterback's life. Some certainties never change.

The real winner of this year's scrimmage: Mike of Fire Mark May, who won the slapbet with Brian of House Rock Built and took his prize on camera for your viewing pleasure.