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Due diligence is a bitch--especially when it's got to happen across changing coaching regimes. With that accepted as a given, someone either currently associated with or formerly employed by the Minnesota Golden Gophers scouting office should ventilate their guts with letter opener today . The Emperor demands it, and the shame will plague your ancestors until you do it. (HT: Brian.)

University of Minnesota football coaches believed they had scored a coup by signing Robert McField to a scholarship tender in February 2006. McField, however, had been charged with two armed robberies in the St. Louis area more than three months earlier. University officials said Tuesday they weren't aware of that.

It is time to redeem your shame, sloppy recruiter.

Hai--uggghhh.....there he goes. You have done the correct thing, assistant coach-san. A thousand years of glory for your noble actions. The remaining, living members of the staff must deal with prized recruit and suspended team member pleading guilty to multiple felonies and facing a possible sentence of twelve years in jail.

In case Minnesota fans wanted another reason to curse Glen Mason's now-departed visage, there you are. Mason, meanwhile, now wants a raise, the stadium named after him, and for you to admit that you were wrong about Direct TV not being worth it. Because it totally is, and he's got your deepening assprint on the couch to prove it, he says. *

*We told you rooming with an out of work coach was a bad idea. But did you listen to us? Nooooooo.