Courtesy of Univision: Vanessa convinces you that Mazda=glamorous. Or at least Mazda=woman with visible tan cheekmeat who, if not willing to rub herself on you, will certainly do so on your car while you watch.
BTW: there’s an unfulfilled market need here, people: naughty car washes. Feel free to make it your own. Imagine how clean your car would be if every scene were like the car wash scene from Cool Hand Luke. It’s posted after the jump for both filthy men to ogle Lucille, and for dirty women with prison fantasies to ogle Paul Newman dirty and shirtless. We know who’s reading this.
While Myles Brand rails vainly against the non-threat of the invisible hand at work, we keep tabs on the real threat to college football: Joe Theismann.
Call off the guards. Tell the protesters to stand down. Theismann: staying with the NFL.
We run this place and if anyone begs to differ, I’ll say what my good buddy Brandon Kirsch once said. “You know where to find me, locker number three, so come and say what you need to say to my face.â€
This edict does not apply to Nick’s Nightclub in West Lafayette. Purdue wide receiver Selwyn Lymon, (not named after the mythical half lime, half-lemon fueling the irresistible taste of Sprite,) got stabbed by someone early this morning in the parking lot of the aforementioned club. Lymon suffered a wound to the upper chest and is listed in critical but stable condition at St. Elizabeth Medical Center in Lafayette. For the layperson, “critical but stable” is medical terminology for “nasty, probably won’t die, and definitely in need of piles of painkillers.”
Purdue WR Lymon: injury report says “stabbed.”
Paramedics responded promptly and stopped the bleeding, prompting Joe Tiller to immediately offer them the job of defensive coordinator at Purdue. “We’ve had a problem with that around here,” said Tiller at a morning press conference. “When we see talent, we take it wherever it’s coming from.”*
NCAA president Myles Brand expressed concern Thursday about coaches’ salaries, but said it was up to schools and universities to police themselves when it comes to hires.
Women be shoppin’…oh, yeah, women be shoppin!
We’re mailing Brand a blue helmet as we speak, since the NCAA is rapidly entering UN peacekeeper territory here. Brand makes, with benefits, three-quarters of a million dollars a year for heading up an organization whose purpose he can’t define. They’ve also been under investigation twice in the past year regarding their non-profit status, something they combatted by paying $160,000 to lobbyists in Washington to protect said status.
Just another vaguely defined non-profit it reminds us of…
They also make millions from the NCAA tournament, their cash cow, which in no way resembles a professional sporting event, either. We play ping-pong to ecstatic thousands at the Georgia Dome every Thursday, in case you’re interested. But let Myles go on:
“I think we have to begin asking some very hard questions,” Brand said. (more…)
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Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
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