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CAN'T TOUCH THIS: FASCINATING NCAA GLITCHES

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God bless bad programming. Without it we would have never had the "double-cross" pick play in Sega's College Football National Championship, the unstoppable toss-sweep in that game, or Warrick Dunn's hide-exploding stiffarm in Dreamcast's NFL 2K. The idea of Dunn stiffarming perfume sales ladies is farfetched. In 2K, however, Dunn could force blast linemen three yards backwards through the air like a shoulder-pad wearing Jedi. "Farfetched" doesn't cover the first zip code of that territory of the absurd.

A slow news day officially begins when you've begun searching YouTube for "NCAA Glitch." That happened around 3:25 EST, actually. Don't denigrate that as a waste of time, however: the proper term would be an awesome waste of time, since we found two ghostly glitches recorded by avid researchers of the game.

1. The little-used teleportation button. Would be funnier if the coach came off the sidelines when using vintage Woody Hayes Ohio State teams. But this ain't bad:

2. Can't touch this. Also known as the "Tebow" move. We're not telling you how to do it.

Well, it is Northwestern on defense. It all makes sense now, no?