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COACHES SHILLING: DAN HAWKINS, THE NEW GUY IN TOWN

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It's division one football!!! It's the Big Tweaaaaauuuuhhhlve!!! It's...Dan Hawkins going for the Oscar as a guy ranting and running around his new house in an ad for Qwest Broadband or some other bundle of overpriced media/cable services:

There's nothing overly mockable about the ad, aside from the hypotheticals, of course. What's he pumping his fist for at the end? Surely not Colorado game tape. Likely candidates include a very special episode of Ow! My Ballz!, any scene from Cool Runnings, the dragon fight scene from Red Sonya, or the bit in Black Mama, White Mama where Pam Grier and (Insert hot 70s white chick here) are tied together topless and fistfighting in solitary confinement. (Clip isn't actually that one, and is totally SFW. Sadly.)

At least that's what we cheer like that for.