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Fulmer Cup updates for your stuck-at-work-ass:

Big Blue in the '80s. Microsoft in the go-go nineties. We're feeling the Mad Money funk when we say that no one, no one, and we mean no one has been more consistently reliable in Fulmer Cup race than steady yet spectacular Ohio University. Though robbed of a championship last year thanks to slow but impressive work by Marshall, they open scoring with a flurry of activity just now summarized for your perusal in the Athens News. (HT: Devil Grad and Chuck.)

A fight at a local Wendy's involving two Ohio players sounds as if it were ripped straight from Ricky Manning's Guide To Random Social Interactions:

A witness who identified Hodge to police officers said Tuesday that Hodge and Hubbard acted drunk and belligerent inside the fast-food restaurant. The witness, who was interviewed by police and filled out a witness statement, asked not to be identified for this story to avoid any repercussions.

"Ernie was up in this punkish-looking guy's face," the witness recalled. "Ernie pushed him, and the guy fell into tables at Wendy's. Ernie punched him, and then (Hubbard) punched him."

Ricky Manning, nerd-beater, surely approves.

Adding up the charges summarized in the crack article from the News:

Ernie Hodge, freshman DL: obstructing official business and underage consumption. Two points.

Horace Hubbard, freshman DL: fifth-degree felony vandalism. Reader Chuck notes, and does so rather excitedly: "Added bonus: three days before the vandalism incident, Hubbard was cited for possession of marijuana." The charges combine for two points, since a fifth-degree felony is really like a third-degree compliment, really.

Marcellis Williamson, freshman DL: Charged with possession of paraphernalia, driving under suspension, and a headlight infraction. We'll call that two points, since busted taillights aren't really all that bad. (Can you tell we have one right now? Of course you can.)

Ohio leaps in with a six point weekend, taking this whole shebang by the short hairs for now. Scoreboard of sorts to come tomorrowish.