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WE'RE JUST TRYING TO HELP.

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Bellichick. Spurrier. Saban. Norman Schwarzkopf, for all we know. All have turned down the batting eyelashes of Alabama for their head coaching job, leaving the program hot and heavy for Coach Rich Rodriguez of West Virginia and then counting on...Mike Sherman? Mike Riley? Mike Hunt?

To make the process easier for all involved, we're offering this visual aid for the entire state. If everyone purchases one, the whole ordeal should be over with in a matter of days.

The person NOT wearing the shirt? There's your coach, Sparky. Go get 'em!