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THANKSGIVING AND OUT

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Turkey beckons, so we're off to Birmingham to visit family. To quell any potential rumors, we would like to announce right here and now that we are staying put at EDSBS, and will not be considering any offers to coach the University of Alabama football team.

Posting will be very, very light. We'll hold off on the rest of the Michael Lewis interview, since transcribing the thing is like ten bitches in a bitch boat, so expect that on Monday. We may post some FSU-inspired invective, but after watching them lose to Wake by 30 points and getting shutout at home, the wattage for this game is going to be very, very dim indeed. Even we're almost tired of watching Drew Weatherford get collar-tackled in the back of the pocket every other down (almost.)

Coaching deaths may rain down upon us quickly in the next week or so. Expect updates in that case. Paper maelstroms are already likely flying between lawyers, and should turn into blizzards following the final gun on Saturday. A few predictions:

--Larry Coker may just walk into the stands and leave via the visitor parking lot on Saturday. He could, since he's going to be fired most mercilessly by Donna Shalalalalalala on Sunday.

--Amato: say goodbye to those sweet, sweet gazongas.

--Dirk Koetter: Norm Chow is taking your job, and leaving behind the flaming garbage scow that is the Titans franchise. Why not send your resume to Tallahassee?

--Shula: for all we know, Papa Smurf may well be a legitimate candidate. Like many Alabama fans he too eschews the wearing of shirt and shoes, a bonus in his compatibility rating for the job.

Enjoy the weekend. Remember, a frozen turkey placed into a deep-fryer will kill anything in a fifteen-foot radius. Whether this is preferable to spending another second with your family is your decision, but try not to take any innocents with you.

On that note, we are thankful for our readers, who remind us that you when you are sick, you are never alone. Oh, and for Reggie Fuckin' Nelson, who worked his ass off through the boondocks of the college football world to get to Florida and play with unparalleled passion and joy. Here's hoping he becomes the first man to intercept two passes at the same time Saturday. The way Weatherford and Lee are bleeding picks, it may happen.

Leave your own thanks below if you wish.

--O.


No, no, don't thaw it, it'll "seal the juices in." Yeah, stand right over it. You'll be fine. I need to go get a drink--be right back!