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A few reports, but they're mounting into something resembling certainty: Shula lives at Alabama. He's going nowhere.

His offensive staff, however, should begin wondering who moved their cheese. (That's the book, if you've never seen it, which teaches "people in organizations how to deal collectively with change," or what sane, lucid minds call "getting laid off.")

UPDATE!!!! Or maybe not. We're relying on scuttlebutt and hearsay, but we will say that it's not just trolling message boards kind of rumormongering, but whatever is happening is still "very fluid" right now. Alabama football: a maze of enigmas wrapped in a riddle inside a conundrum stuffed with boiled peanuts and pom-poms.

What do you do, exactly, Coach Rader? We have a book for you to read.