Blogtoberfest is overdue and burgeoning with other people’s content. Roll!

-A Virginia Tech booster lawyer/agent wannabe-type claims he gave a hundred large to former Hokie footballer Jimmy Williams and current NBAer Shawne Williams.(HT: Chili.) The money allegedly paid for:

“$8,700 in merchandise, including clothes and shoes, phone service, hotel rooms and a tattoo, according to the suit. The remaining $46,000 and change were given in cash, the papers say.”

That tattoo better contain the authenticated ashes of Bruce Lee or Charlemagne to command that kind of cash. The “that hooker owes me a refund” bit of the equation: the booster wants his money back.

-Nickelback is denied a ticket request to OSU/Michigan. The people of Portugal are on our side of this debate, even if their aim is tragically inaccurate.

-Ty Willingham, molder of men, strikes again. Everyone knows you can’t win an argument on the internet, right? Now if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got to continue our 1,372 post argument on Delphi forums with some libertarian nut who thinks the fire department is oppressing him.

-From commenter RaginCajunRebel (LEMSDAY to you, sir!): Bo Schembechler on LSU, suffering from severe Tobias Funke-mouth here…

“LSU has players,” Schembechler said. “They’re a well-endowed team.”

Uncle Milty: LSU Tiger prospect in his younger days? (That girl doesn’t look frightened enough does she?)

-The latest mad rumor: Saban to the Crimson Tide following Mike Shula’s fourth loss in a row to Auburn this weekend. Take this with all due skepticism, since the proposed candidate list as we saw it reads like this:

1.Bear Bryant Clone still in teens, won’t be ready for six years or so.

2. Bill Bellichick

3. Jesus, the third best football coach who ever lived.

4. Someone white who went to Alabama. (zing! yowza! reel in the irony of someone who lives in Georgia accusing Alabama of racism! POW!)

5. Everett.

Alabama could be in constant sorrow this weekend if trends hold.

-Suspicious dinners have USC supporter John Papadakis-father of Petros, who we’re mercifully out of radio broadcast range of-in hot water with university compliance officials. Papadakis’ response: “The last thing I would want recruits to associate with USC was free steak and the velvety thighs of our extremely healthy and compliant waitresses.”

-Tim Tebow, consider yourself websited, and possibly in need of legal counsel. Also, we think this website infringes on your image and name, as well.

You have your fear, which might become reality; and you have Tebow, which IS reality.

-UM/OSU tix: funding adoptions, so pricey are they. The baby better be named Woody or Bo, depending on whose fans kick in more money.

-Finally, we would like to cast OSU/UM in some perspective. After all, when it comes to sports violence, we are all amateurs in the proper context. Warning: watching the following video may cause you to be hit in the head with a brick like the fucking pansy wanker you are.

AP-COLUMBUS, OHIO. At the request of the governor of Ohio, UN Peacekeepers entered Columbus, Ohio today to attempt to restore order.

The French, Bangladeshi, and Bulgarian troops will enter an environment that has descended into absolute anarchy in the span of a week. What began as a conflict between rival Ohio State fan factions preparing for the game has grown into a chaotic free-for-all involving Nepali Maoists, a militia led by Ohio State coach Jim Tressel (who has been calling himself “the Colonel”,) a West African mercenary army employed by former Liberian president Charles Taylor, and a small but disciplined corps of Michigan fans who have entered town and taken control of local Starbucks’ and high-end retailers.

Information is sketchy, but several key changes have occurred over the past 72 hours.

-The West African faction, initially a formidable presence based out of several local discotheques, has dwindled as their discipline waned and many mercenaries broke ranks. “It appears we partied very late into the night,” says one soldier who spoke to EDSBS on conditions of anonymity, “and this sapped us of our strength completely. Though I should mention that Femi Kuti put on a most ferocious show for us, which also unfortunately bankrupted the war fund quite quickly.”

Femi Kuti: his irresistable Afro-funk bankrupted the West African insurgency in Columbus.

“Also, there are no diamonds to fund our efforts here, though someone said there would be,” said the soldier, arching an eyebrow toward the solid gold Rolls Royce that allegedly contained Taylor. “We could not even tempt the local teens here with methamphetamine and guns, since they already litter the streets like the leaves of your beautiful autumn.”

The soldier added that many planned on attempting to enroll at Ohio State and stay in the United States on a F-1 visa. “My men are running wind sprints as we speak to try out for your football team,” he said, adding that locals told him having no prior education was no obstacle to playing Division-1 football. “If there is one thing this looting and pillaging of your city has taught me, it is that this is the most lootable and pillageable country in the world. For that I thank God.”

-Subcommandante Wayne has emerged as a key figure in the struggle. The “SW”, as he’s referred to by his followers, has claimed control over a wide swath of Columbus, and has built his power base by taking over several key liquor warehouses and breweries. He now makes semi-hourly broadcasts over local television frequencies; many are speeches, but others have baffled UzBuckistan-watchers, including several broadcasts that appear to show Subcommandante Wayne playing the wildly popular video game “Guitar Hero 2.” (Wayne, who has not shown his face yet to the world, is pictured below in wig and luchadore mask.)

Subcommandante gave a brief interview to EDSBS this a.m.:

“Our resources are vast-indeed, as vast as this liquor warehouse and the several groceries stores appropriated by the great will of the people of UzBuckistan. We plan on taking over all we see until the Blue Menace is eradicated at last and we may begin again repopulating the Northern Territories with pure Buckeye blood. The people of UzBuckistan until our feet trample the fetid shores of Kentucky and our head bristles against the sallow, flabby belly of Canada.”

“This is the will of the people of UzBuckistan! Also, that Comcast would please restore cable service to East Columbus. Missing tonight’s Grey’s Anatomy is not part of our five-year plan, and would greatly displease the mother of our dear nation, Mrs. Subcommandante Wayne. She finds the site of Patrick Dempsey almost as pleasing as the sight of Chad Henne peeing himself in fear at the sight our our mighty People’s Republic! Plus the Sandra Oh pleases us despite being a bit horsey-looking…”

The Subcommandante requests death of Michigan. And cable, please.

Liberty Mutual’s Coach of the Year award means so much to the coaches of this nation. So much so that this is the first time we’ve ever heard of it, or a few of the nominees, actually. Don’t tell us you’ve heard of Mel Tjeerdsma. If you do, you are a lying liar. Unless you live in Southwest Missouri, in which case we believe you, or you are in fact Mel Tjeerdsma.

Nominees include:

Mack Brown. He won the national championship last year, right? Give ‘em a trophy for the hell of it. Something tells me the “casual fan” on the board made this nomination after the crew rejected the names “Barry Switzer” and “Tom Osborne” from the same party.

Bob Stoops. Yeah, same guy. He’s really looking forward to his corporate seats at the Fiesta this year. The in-box spread is amazing-and he’s not just talking about the food, if ya know what I mean wocka wocka!!!

Tommy Tuberville. “We just like the sound of it. Kind of like a kids’ show hero, you know.”

Upjurs Jimgrobe. We’re not sure who this is, but we know the ‘j’ is pronounced a la the Swedish. Other nominees include Nantahala State’s Gofer Kyerselfgrobe, University of Chulalongkorn Men’s Football coach Sukit Jeemgrobe, and Maui Technical College’s coach “Nineanwun Izeazyeh.”

Upjurs Jimgrobe: a better coach than this guy, evidently.

Solon gives you a quick fix for Thursday night. He’s your mama, he’s your daddy, he’s that gambler in the alley…

THURSDAY:

West Virginia (-11) v. PITTSBURGH

If West Virginia had a hangover from losing to Louisville, they did not show it last week. And, the chances are good that they will have the bit between their teeth now; with Rutgers’ ascension, and a home game looming against the Scarlet Knights, a BCS berth is certainly within WVU’s range, and a berth in the title game is not out of the question either. What looked like a promising season for Pitt has crumbled recently; they have losses in their last three games, and in retrospect the only impressive win on the schedule looks to be against Cincy in week two. Pitt’s biggest weakness this season has been their run D; they were run over by Michigan State early (335 yds), and while they have stopped some lesser run offenses over the course of the season, both Rutgers (268 yds) and UConn (339 yds) have torn them up in the last couple of weeks. West Virginia’s running game will provide little comfort for the Pitt D; WVU has only failed to hit 259 yds once this season, and I rate them as the best rushing attack in the nation. Pitt’s running game has been an effective weapon on occasion, but usually it is only a factor against weaker run defenses; e.g., they averaged 5.37 ypc v. Toledo, Syr, UCF, and UConn, but only 2.79 ypc against UVa, Cincy, Rutgers, and USF. Outside of Rutgers, this will probably be the best run D they have faced; only three teams have hit 100 yds rushing against WVU this season, and two of those only just hit that number (Md, 105 yds/31 carries; Lou, 107 yds/30 carries). Pitt’s strength, of course, is its passing game; QB Palko has developed as a passer this season and now rates a dangerous opponent. However, his production is much less against strong pass defenses; Syracuse, Rutgers, and South Florida all held him to under 200 yards and Pitt only managed to score 21, 10, and 12 points in those games as Palko piled up only 6.95 ypp with a 3-3 ratio. The WVU pass D is legit; Louisville shredded them but that in and of itself is not cause for concern. Against the next best QBs they have faced (Md QB Hollenbach, ECU QB Pinkney, and Syr QB Patterson), WVU has only given up 5.55 ypp with a 4-4 ratio. Palko is certainly better than those QBs-and has a better set of WRs-but I think the WVU pass D will hold him in check and the Pitt O will not be able to keep up with a WVU O that has not scored less than 27 points since QB White has become the starter.

Pat White: so fast he runs the drunk off the first row of Mountaineer fans.

Is 2006 the year of the Gators? First it was basketball, and the Gator Nation was hopeful…

But after this last night, it cannot be denied…

The Gators seem all but destined, not only to play for the BCS championship, but to win it as well.