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MARRY US. ALL OF US.

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Information overload is the m.o. today. Only a speed freak with bionic wrists could honestly keep up with everything unfolding in the blogosphere today, and since our bionic implants are still in the mail, we'll just have to content ourselves with being merely mortal today.

That said, we did find the second finest woman in the world, and all the coaching carousel updates will wait. How do we know you're gay? Because you got put in a headlock by a cheerleader. That and the dip in the breadbowl totally convinced us.

On behalf of all mankind and speaking in the collective male voice: a cheerleader who puts a cadet in a headlock convincingly is a woman we all would be proud to have as our bride. Whoever you are: we love you, and salute you. Please reproduce so that your perky, brawling badassedness finds its way into future generations of peppy grappling sideline enforcers.

If only we could cross her with FIU crutch-swinger A'Mod Ned...behold, the Superman!

Just click and watch the VMI cheerleader in the upper right portion of the scrum. (Mega HT: PFHokie.)

What gonna do with all that ass? All that ass that you just kicked?