Our mustache of the day goes out in part to suspended ESPN announcer Brian Kinchen, who dared to suggest that if a man was tender and caring with "the football(s)", then he might be gay. In our tribute to his unfair suspension, we actually mean to disagree: every man needs to be tender with his balls this month, since it's Movember, a.k.a. testicular cancer awareness month in Australia and New Zealand. (HT: Danny Ford Is God.)
The public health campaign has fixated on bringing its message of testicular awareness in a fun and cheap fashion: by encouraging men to grow a 'mo', or mustache. Grow it the whole month, since it'll make your balls healthy or something. Since we're in favor of anything that keeps our balls happy and healthy, we award the entire continent of Australia the honor of being our Mustache of the Day for Mustache Wednesday.
A bonzer Mustache Wednesday to you, motherfuckers! Who says you can't learn anything at Outback Steakhouse!