While Georgia Sports would like you to support their overmade cheeleader--"She is a Chechnyan prostitute and you will refer to her as such."--we would like to point you in the underdog's direction and ask that in the great race known as the Athlon Sideline Spirit contest, you support Anna, the University of Florida's representative in round three.
Anna, who's a bit down in the chips with just under ten thousand votes, not only needs your support-nay! She deserves it. We pitch to thee these reasons three why you should vote for Florida's lighter-than-a-feather sideline tossing dwarf.
1. She's got outstanding pudendal confidence. Nothing's more important to a cheerleader than the belief that those who encounter near-eye level exposure to everything between the anatomical tropics will come away unoffended, perhaps even pleased, and ready to cheer for another crucial down. Clearly, Anna's got Pudendal confidence in spades.
2. She's an accounting major. If that doesn't strike fear into your heart, nothing will. Do you think Liz Southall's going to do anything with that Latin American Studies major besides pick up hot Latinos and sign up for the GRE like, now? Of course not. Anna, on the other hand, could be making six figures while doing handstands on your company's rock solid books thanks to her degree. Spanish teacher or ninja accountant who can buy you a nice dinner: take your pick, reader.
3. Her favorite memory with her squad:"...when the coed boys attacked her squad in an underground tunnel at the South Carolina game last fall." Anna's clearly a berserker who lives only for the thrill of blood and the fury of a good melee. The coed squad lost a lot of good men in the tunnel that day...
I am the Invincible Sword Goddess, armed with the incredible Green Destiny. And a pom-pom.
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