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CJ SPILLER: DANG FAST

We watched the second half of the Georgia Tech/Clemson game from the Marriott in South Bend, IN, where a very, very large man in Notre Dame gear confused us for a Notre Dame fan and wondered why the hell we were rooting for Clemson to continue piling points on Georgia Tech. We quickly explained ourselves by:

a.) rolling on our back in a submissive pose

b.) telling him that Notre Dame didn't need the help thanks to the paparazzi factor (Charlie! Charlie! Turn to the side and show some more leg!)

c. that Clemson's victory involved two fiberoptic transmissions you slow, merly fast mortals might call "runs" by C.J. Spiller.

In case you missed them, the transmissions actually involved Spiller on every aspect of the play. Immediately after Tech scored its only touchdown and showed creaky signs of getting off the mat for the second half, Clemson answered by allowing C.J. Spiller to throw to himself on a swing pass, something he successfully executed by first throwing, then running around the earth to go back in time and place himself on well-run swing route, and then allowing events to unfold as he teleported past two defenders and then outran the cameras to the endzone.

(That last bit is quite serious--the cameras actually jerked a bit trying to track Spiller as he hit eighth gear out of the jukes and destroyed any will Georgia Tech might have had left.)

In case you missed Spiller's recruiting tape, well...we posted it below. It's controversial for obvious reasons, but we're happy to say that Spiller's cleared up all the legal troubles resulting from his actions by agreeing to do a little "wet work" for the government on the side in between games and classes.

That little tap you just felt on your shoulder? Just C.J. saying hello and running back to South Carolina for fun.

Call Senator Kelly: Spiller's in town.