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If you read Peter Kerasotis' column following the Auburn game, then you shouldn't have, because Peter Kerasotis is the Worst Columnist in America. However, if you innocently stumbled into the jumbled wormhole of completely false statements, one line paragraphs, and smarmy baseless supposition that is the average Kerasotis column, you may not have escaped without minor brain damage and the indelible image of Auburn fans storming the field in a bloodthirsty, senselessly hazardous mob, holding lit fireworks, handguns, and running with scissors in their celebration.

It was not a safe environment, as evidenced by the thousands of fans who rushed the field unhindered immediately after Auburn scored a gimme touchdown on the last play of the game.

Thousands! Hordes! Teeming throngs of naked Auburn fans painted blue and orange tossing Chinese Throwing stars at each other! Just...look at them.

Pandelirium, I tell you!

Peter Kerasotis must have written this from the comfort of his home, with its large, foam rubber pads covering every corner of furniture and plastic grip pads on each non-carpeted surface. We just like to imagine him, sipping Riunite on ice and reminding visitors not to step off the plastic carpet tracks running through the house.

Will wrote him to point this out; check out his piece on From The Bleachers for Kerasotis' bizarre response.