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WEEKEND IN REVIEW TWO: AL GROH FEVER! CATCH IT!

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--UVA AD Craig Littlepage says Al Groh's still his man. Who's got Al Groh fever? You will, with a diagnosis of at least 12 more months of infection, Cavalier fans.
The upside: increasing losses to teams like Western Michigan and Eastern Carolina help bloggers disingenuously defend scheduling (Instert Direction and Major State here) University in the twelth game since "parity's becoming more and more common--just look at UVA!"


Al Groh fever: viral, bacterial, or contractual?

--Kudos and huzzahs to Glen Mason, who has dispensed with the needless run up to 6-0 before crashing to 7-5 to end the season as the Gophers have always done. He appears to have cunningly reversed the Glen Mason Pattern this year by dispensing with the illusory winning and going straight for the crushing losses up front. Cue bitter articles about Mason not getting Ohio State job in two weeks for impending matchup with Buckeyes.

--Dirk Koetter, who we remind you has a name fit for a merciless but philosophical U-Boat captain, may begin the vigorous circulation of his resume to peers for review. Dirk, do not use the Microsoft Word Templates--it will make you look cheap and unimaginative.

The Sun Devils became the third team to shoulder the burden of being this week's team to almost beat USC, thus raising hopes for nearly four quarters among BCS-bashing anarchists that the Trojans would rack up a midseason loss. Koetter, rarely the cautious type, punted with 100 or so seconds to go, a fact that has The House of Heat posting pictures of horse buttocks.


Sparky: fired up to be this week's USC also-ran.

--Adrian Peterson breaks his collarbone in first game watched by father in person. To paraphrase an old Russian joke: "There is a God, Adrian, but sometimes he does not like you very much." To do list: dry tears with hundreds from NFL signing bonus, drown sorrows in jiggling flesh of good, giving, and game groupies.

--New Mexico State versus Boise: 1004 yards of offense. WACtion at its finest. Forget the modernization of the league or the continuing professionalization of its coaching staffs; we propose that legislation protect the WAC as a safe refuge for points and WACky defenses. Protective legislation would be the forced extradition of defensive coordinators to other conferences after three games of sub-fifty point totals.

Hal Mumme needs a safe place. Congress, give it to him, or risk losing college football's most brazen combover.


Needs federal protection.

--Louisville struggled against Cincinnati despite Brian Brohm's honors student 320 yard day, 24-17.

Card Nation had to change shorts in the middle of the game, and will likely have to again after this week's BCS rankings had undefeated Louisville at #7.

West Virginia cruelly allowed Syracuse to glimpse the sweet, round behind of hope before letting Pat White run wind sprints through the Orange defense. If people could be reincarnated as football teams with karma playing a key role in team assignment, Robinson's Syracuse teams would be Idi Amin living out his just desserts in communal, gridiron form. (Instead of eating others, he's being devoured whole by other teams.) While Johnny is awfully measured for someone who should be burning couches left and right, Matt's got the phrase that pays for Syracuse in an article on basketball:

First Basketball Article=Less Crying.

--Bruins Nation...well, we've all been there. Where? Where they are. Nice spot. Great central heating. Ample company, including a corner suite for some guy named [NAME REDACTED]. You know, coaching hell.

No amount of whammy-bringing will free Bruins fans from this particular gift shop.

--That corner suite in coaching hell? No signs of a new tenant yet, especially with the generous down payment [NAME REDACTED] placed on it this weekend. Illinois, official team of Deadspin's Will Leitch, lost to Ohio.

They're getting better and better! If there is a silver lining for Florida fans in losing to Auburn this weekend, it's that [NAME REDACTED] did not, in fact, invent the second half collapse. It can even happen to perfectly competent and detail-oriented coaches like Urban Meyer. Though in all fairness, if anyone could take out a patent on it, it could be [NAME REDACTED.] The ugly truth:

Illinois, which outgained Ohio 397-238, had its chances. But the stat that mattered more was Illinois' four lost fumbles. The Bobcats had none.

Beyond that, Illinois virtually handed Ohio two second-quarter touchdowns. A coverage gaffe allowed a 58-yard pass to set up the Bobcats' first score. A blocked punt led to their second and left coach Ron Zook frustrated.

''The thing that upsets me is in the first half, it shouldn't have been that way,'' Zook said. ''We have to come out and play every game like it's the Super Bowl. That's what we talk about, that's what we coach. We're not getting it done. I'm not getting it done.''

...but that's all correctable, of course.

--Finally, Warren puts out a fine piece on the perils and pleasure of coaching Little League football. A warning to the innocents who stick their head in the guillotine willingly:

"At first I thought it was just going to be throwing the ball around a little bit," he said. "Then all of a sudden it’s Tuesday night at midnight and I’m watching game tape of 9-year-olds."

Readers of this blog: nod at the sad image of self-recognition you must be having reading this. The first step is accepting that you have no power over it. The second step is...catching up on those archived games on Gameplan, right? We lost the little book they gave us at the support group...it's somewhere under these Phil Steel Guides...