Jeff Bowden unveiled his latest tweak to the Florida State offense last night. Masterful work, we say:
1st down: Booker stuffed on an ineffective run.
2nd down: Booker stuffed on an ineffective run.
3rd down: Drew Weatherford gets horse-collared down three yards shy of a first down.
With the exception of two possessions last night, this was the FSU offense, a deplorable dysfunctional ballet that takes top-tier talent and destroys it with middle-school coaching. Bowden the Unready continues to make the football equivalent of a wine spritzer with his tools, popping the cork on a '54 Latour and then pouring Sprite into it to "make it taste good." FSU has a 6'6" receiver that they cannot get the ball to--that is all that you need to know about the deep, incomprehensible shittiness of this offense.
Chuck Amato's not complaining. In fact, his survival meter took a robust uptick last night. For today, Chuck's looking quite chesty, as his rating has risen to Eugene Sandow: 19th century pre-scientific bodybuilding, strong, yes, but would probably still die after trying to lift a car, as Sandow did:
Sadly, Sandow suffered a fatal brain hemorrhage when, according to legend, he tried to pull his car from a ditch in the interests of physical display.
We could totally see Chuck Amato surviving this season, not getting fired, and then dying after trying to do the exact same thing.
Chuck Amato Survival Meter: Sandowish.
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