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Rumors, unsubstantiated hooferaw, and general scuttlebutt and what the intelligence community calls "chatter" adds up to this: Larry Coker, at the very least, had some sort of soul-baring, self-criticism meeting with Miami bigwigs last night. He also cancelled his appearance tomorrow at the Touchdown Club here in Atlanta, which could be a sign of three things:

1. Coker's getting fired.

2. Coker's focusing big time on his next game, eschewing all non-essential activities.

3. Coker's been kidnapped by Warren Sapp, Michael Irvin, and Edgerrin James, who have him trapped in the luxury of their secret Las Vegas pleasure suite for the remainder of the 'Canes season. Coker will struggle to "fight" his way out from a constant barrage of stunning call girls, plates of chicken wings and cognac, and the finest herbal remedies available to an NFL superstar while Randy Shannon takes over coaching duties. Coker will resurface three years later in Reno as a weary, existentialist croupier working under the name "Thurston Spinnerall."

Hey....don't I know you?