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WILLIE WILLIAMS DOOMED TO WANDER EARTH ALONE FOREVER NOT ATTENDING TROY

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Troy didn't want Willie Williams, leaving him doomed to wander the streets of Coral Gables until someone risks a scholarship on the colorful linebacker who entered "Da U" as a universally heralded athletic talent with a troubled past and left it a disgruntled blue-chipper riding the bench.

God, we wish someone would blow a whistle and start hitting so we would have something to write about besides this crap. Actually, if someone blew the whistle right now we'd hit someone, but we doubt the receptionist would take a running start spear in the earhole like Reggie Brown did.