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COACH FRAN WANTS NEW MISSION STATEMENT, TPS REPORTS ON TIME

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His defense gave up 31 points a game last year. His quarterback rolled eyes at him in the huddle. He signed up Gary Darnell as defensive coordinator, a name that should send shudders through the limbic systems of Florida and Notre Dame fans everywhere. And yet, Coach Dennis Franchione boldly marches forward to the future, addressing the big issues like whether or not A&M players are going to get their names on the back of their uniforms.

Other things Coach Fran would like you to begin thinking about:

--Coach Dennis Franchione would also like to request that you get your TPS reports on time, and that you clean up after yourself in the employee kitchen.

--Coach Fran would like you to send him an email when you leave for lunch, and when you return, too.

--Coach Fran has an HR training he would like to attend.

--Coach Fran does not believe you properly understand his mission statement and would be more than happy to explain it to you in a seven hour long meeting.

--Coach Fran thinks you should be proactively working toward synergy with your teammates.

--Coach Fran thinks you are in his parking space, and speaking casually here, would like to know that that is definitely not cool, bra.

--Coach Fran would like to remind you that "eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."


Hedley would love it if you could come in on Saturday, 'cause he's gonna need you to do that.