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We're back from the Redneck Riviera, where we sat on a beach reading the Bourne series by Robert Ludlum and wearing out our IPod while growing some fine tumors in the sun. When they start demanding their own beer...that's bad, right?

We did see the following:

--A fishing boat worth no more than 750 dollars painted poop brown with a ferocious face painted on the bow and the words "WAR MACKERAL" emblazoned on each side in huge red letters.(Misspelling observed and intentional; that's the way the guy spelled it.) Bama fans, take note: you have your new mocking name for the Barners in hand.

--A bar band at AJ's in Destin boasting a 75% jean short compliance rate as well as an impressive 75% mustache/mullet ratio. Despite the temp being somewhere around ninety degrees, they all wore shoes that required socks and worked through a playlist that...well, involved a lot of songs about drinking and sunshine. They'll be playing the EDSBS tailgate, of course, provided the keyboard guy can get the house arrest anklet off in time for it.

--A sunburned Alabama fan in a white Panama hat--evidently, he looked at the old Panama Jack logo when packing for wardrobe guidance--who blew our minds when he got up for karaoke and bypassed the exit ramps of "Sweet Home Alabama" and "You Never Even Called Me By My Name" to sing..."Sex and Candy" by Marcy Playground. He rocked it, too.

--A very attractive blond woman with a dress painted on shaking her ass at 331 much to the disappointment of her beer-bloated husband, who kept trying to intervene in between daring anyone around him to look at her and die. This went on for about an hour of spectacular viewing before the husband shifted into "potential abuser" mode and escorted her out of the club, presumably to get "first husband" tattooed on his forehead. Free entertainment abounded on the Redneck Riviera.

--It's good to be back. Month and change to footbaw, goddamn. A huge round of thanks to Paul, Peter, SMQ, and Stranko for keeping the wire warm the whole time with quality content, even if Paul did post pictures of Lindsay Scott to properly play the part of Dawg Heel. [NAME REDACTED] still has your ass if you want it back anytime soon, which is about as bad a thing as we can think to say about any team. Good to be back.

2-1 versus the Dawgs. Redact that.