NEVER CALL THE ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT AT 4 A.M.

Never, ever call the athletic department at 4 in the morning when your coach has just blown another game in heartbreaking fashion. Never.

But seriously: does anyone want to help Fightin' Amish pay the legal fees for this?(HT: The Wiz.) Because if [NAME REDACTED] had gotten another year on his contract, we'd have been screaming drunkenly into the phone every night at four a.m., too.

You know you'd be there, too.