(Ahem! Clearing throat, adjusting Windsor knot, polishing American flag pin before beginning hectoring, outraged monologue. Actually we had some problems in editorial with this one, so we run it uncut for your pleasure, just like Johnny Holmes. )
Can you believe the audacity total awesomeness of the NCAA? In addition to keeping college football safe from "offensive Indian nicknames," Myles Brand has decided transfers may leave a school and participate in the same sport at a completely different school without losing a year of eligibility! Can you believe the audacity complete and utter badassness of this rule? Once a scholarship meant four years of blood, sweat, and tears for the old alma mater; now it means either a quick ticket to another school when things don't go all rosy keen for Johnny McJockley, just another way for young people to dodge the responsibilities entailed by access to a free education a nice break for Florida, since we can take former Utah standout Ryan Smith, rush his application to a graduate program, and have him running tip drills for summer without penalty. Who needs Avery Atkins and the cut-rate Maury Povich soap opera accompanying him now!
We implore the Swindle Nation to boycott the NCAA and all its assorted products send Myles Brand bags of gold ingots and nude pictures of your most attractive female friends for allowing this educational travesty well-timed and totally awesome jiggering of the rules to occur . No one Florida completely benefits from this rule change. Athletic programs now have one more avenue at their disposal to subvert academic integrity not just at the undergraduate level but also at the hallowed halls of graduate school put kickass football on the field at all times, dammit.
Ryan Smith's transfer is an outrage excellent, excellent thing.