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THE NASTIEST (MUSICAL) RIVALRY

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Rivalry draws its reddest blood when it takes the form of...dueling punk bands? Yeah, sure; we'll roll with that on a hectic Friday. (HT: John Doe.)

--The Wolverines entry: The Dropkick Woodys, who drop a Dead Milkmenesque bomb on Columbus with "I Spit on Woody's Grave." The lead singer sounds like a perfect facsimile of Rodney Dangerous, which merits points galore for reminding us of rolling on the floor listening to Beelzebubba.

--The Buckeyes' entry: The Dead Schembechlers. As nice as "I Spit on Woody's Grave" may be, "Ted Ginn" satisfies our Brasky/Norris/Hyperbole yen nicely with the lines:

Who built the Sphinx and Pyramids?
Who built the Eiffel Tower?
Then who tore down the Berlin Wall
With Marvel superpower?

Who fought off giant asteroids
To keep the earth from dyin'?
Who led the troops in World War Two
and then saved Private Ryan?

Ted Ginn! Ted Ginn!
Ted Ginn did everything!

Advantage: Woody, especially since the Buckeyes' submission suggests that after losses to Ohio State, Lloyd Carr is left "to wring out his frilly pink panties."


Fact: did everything.