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GREG JONES LIKES MAYO. LOTS OF MAYO.

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Any guy who fits the breed description "tends to bloat" will hate, hate, hate this video of collegiate Greg Jones ordering two subway sandwiches, eating both, and still looking like Black Zeus with his shirt off. Sure, he's a football player burning 8,000 calories a day (and was in college at the time) and appears to have won the genetic lottery body-wise, but the strength coaches had to pull their hairs out waiting for Jones' metabolism to collapse, leaving them with a candy-chomping Pooh Bear Williams 2 on their hands.

Lot of mayonnaise. Lot a honey mustard. Lotta Ranch.