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Who better to officially call crap on a rumor than someone who lives on crappy rumor? Answer: a professional. But when you can't get them, you get us. Brady Quinn's ineligibility rumor as floated by is officially crap, since it attempts to connect the NCAA's provision barring the hiring of agents during amateur competition with Weis' suggestion that Notre Dame players shop around a little bit before it gets too late in their collegiate career to take a proper, thorough look around for representation. This makes perfect sense since half of college athletes, otherwise carefully trained, fed, and maintained physical properties, saunter into the NFL draft under the flag of their brother/uncle/homeboy/Master P and get screwed by contract provisions later in their career as a result.

Make 'em say ugh, why the hell did I sign with you?

As great as this rumor would be--ballyhooed college power rising from the ashes gets shocking comeuppance!!!--there's very little to it. The rule forbids agreements of any kind between players and agents, which means that as long as someone hasn't caught Brady Quinn's signature on a piece of paper or video of him saying "I'm signing with Drew Rosenhaus, because I want an insufferable crapbag as my agent," there's nothing here. :-( =Emoticon inserted for benefit of USC, Boston College, and Purdue fans.

We say all of this because recently we were told that in order to write about something as fact, there had to be something called e-vi-dence to support your assertion. We're attempting to work with this substance, though it's an entirely new thing for us. Does one handle it with tongs? Can it be purchased in bulk? And is it relevant when writing about SEC football? (Judging from experience, we think not.)

Metro as hell, but still eligible to play college football.