Out Magazine features a piece written by Boi From Troy this month listing the top ten bois of sport considered most desirable for gay men--a piece we have to endorse since:
a. It's essentially witnessing for sports, which is always a good thing, and
b. More gay men in sports = more easy gags in blog posts.
The cover reads "BIG BOUNCY BALLS...AND THE MEN WHO LOVE THEM," and goes on to explain how "sports...became the new gay porn." We lived with a gay guy in college for a bit--really, it was for money, not love--and having come home bleary-eyed at three in the morning to find him sitting on the couch watching gay porn, we can honestly say we've never seen anything resembling the genital acrobatics of man-on-man action in spectator sports.
Umm...yes. Totally straight sport there.
(Gay porn resembles high school wrestling gone tragically wrong. One minute it just looks strange; then you're thinking, "no way"; then the unthinkable happens, and your thoughts as a straight guy run something like, "I bet that tickles" to "Aah, memories of Sunday School." We'll be over here crying in the corner if you need us.)
The news in all this, for those of you who actually made it this deep (heh, deep,) into a discussion of sports as gay porn? The four college football players cited by Boi at "Not on our team...but we'd sure like to be on theirs" are Notre Dame's Tom Zbikowski, Brady Quinnn, and Jeff Samardzxqklgkta, presented with the caption
Who wouldn't give it up for Notre Dame's dreamy threesome?
...along with the Crimson Tide's own NFL draftee Brodie Croyle, described as "a ringer for Ringo." That's right: you're the ugly Beatle, Brodie.
Not mentioned in the article is the Conscience of a Nation's pick, Chris Leak, who in addition to being a rock-solid gym rat of a man with green eyes that make the ladies swoon has also demonstrated his sensitive side by sliding to avoid hurting anyone on running plays.
Dreamy. Sensitive, too.