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O'LEARY GETS EXTENSION

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Dr. George O'Leary, one time football coach at Notre Dame and prominent philosopher, mathematician and theologian (according to his CV), has been granted a major contract extension to continue coaching the Golden Knights of Central Florida. O'Leary is due to make a cool million next season which will escalate up to 1.55 million by 2015.

After a successful second season, O'Leary upped the ante by employing Urban Meyers patented pointing techniques.