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PURPLE LIGHTNING. THAT'S ALWAYS A GOOD SIGN.

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Though it's chocked full of fine moments, including a scene with a talking cupcake that spits chewing tobacco at Chris Elliott, Cabin Boy's best line by far comes from the lips of Brion James, the crusty deckhand who glances out the window in the middle of a storm and announces:

"Purple lightning. That's always a good sign."

Though James is no longer with us, his spirit lives on. (Seriously: check out his IMDB page. If being in Miami Vice, Hell Comes to Frogtown 2, Walker Texas Ranger, the A-Team and The Jeffersons isn't enough for you, remember that he was also in Brain Smasher: A Love Story. Life's just not fair.) In fact, we think about him whenever Kentucky football comes up, since purple lightning actually would be a good sign for the Wildcats.

He was in Tango and Cash AND Red Heat. Beat that.

The latest natural disaster to strike Kentucky--besides Hal Mumme, Tim Couch running the option, and Guy Morriss dumping the program for Baylor--at the very least presents a change of pace. Usually the bad news comes in the fall; this time, it's Kentucky's best defender Bo Smith getting the boot from the team for unspecified violations of team rules. (Most likely academics--message boarders speculation suggests he may have failed a class after getting in dire straits gradewise.)

When reached for comment, Rich Brooks reminded you that he didn't bleed on a hill in Khe Sanh just to get lip from pantywaist hippies like you, dumbass. (HT: The Wiz)

"Purple lightning? Yeah, that'd be nice, actually.