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TEXAS GOES LARGE (SURPRISE!)

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Texas has done built themselves the biggest damn scoreboard in the whole rootin', tootin', convict-executin' state of Texas, y'all. Not that the rest of the world matters, but the scoreboard would also qualify as the biggest in the known universe...as if that mattered. (HT: Kevin)

Mack Brown will watch movies on this. Mark our words.

All that matters for the Longhorns is that the scoreboard will mesmerize opponents with its irresistable magnitude, which could be bad for them since Dennis Franchione, transfixed by his own panty-dropping good looks broadcast on a 7,370 square foot screen, could be absent for most of the A&M/UT game, allowing the Aggies to actually score points and compete. Perhaps blinders would help.

A horse track in Tokyo plans on eclipsing the Texas screen later this year. No news on who will be the first to watch their own homemade porn on either screen (and thus see their penis magnified by a factor of thousands), but we have our own suspects.

"Just look at it, Matsumoto-san. It's three hundred feet long up there!