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Wisconsin defensive end Joe Monty's given us something new to avoid at all fucking costs: severe trauma to the face. Monty was traveling home at 2 a.m. on Friday night when he slammed into the back of stopped car and incurred injuries to his face, neck, and legs, including cuts to the face requiring over 100 stitches.

How you know this is an accident in a college town: both Monty and the driver of the car were cited for DUI, which sucks double hard for the other guy, who apparently was doing a fine job driving drunk when Monty plowed into him. This kind of nightmare is what keeps Bob Huggins up at night...drinking.

Drunk hits drunk: a perpetual tipsy cruiser's nightmare comes true.