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Thanks to Deadspin's religious coverage of Clinton Portis' surreal press conferences, we've become convinced that if anyone represents the evolutionary endpoint of Miami football player development, it's Clinton, the personification of the oddball playa good for sure quotes, shameless admission of recruiting trips spent in strip clubs, and sexual confessions of a strangely humble nature.

WJFK's interview with Sherriff Gonna Getchya defies description, but just a few choice quotes from an interview focusing heavily on the wacky world of Da U and its moneyed, famous, and occasionally arrested denizens. (Click on the "Clinton Portis"link on the left.)

On Ken Dorsey's sexual prowess:

Ken's the man...he was breaking the soccer team down.

On Miami's recruiting tactics:

I was in the strip club (in Miami), and they was like "Are you coming?" and I was like "yeaaaaahhhhhhh..."

HT: Chris Chase.

Clinton Portis, eccentric gentleman.