Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction. Thus it seems to be with the Logan Young saga. The most recent police version of the story is that he tripped on the stairs while carrying a salad and a soda, clunking his head on the iron railing on the way down. Read the rest of the details here, and you can see why the initial story was a murder scene. Weird, weird story.

An interesting storyline from the Gators’ spring practice has been the nomad journey of Cornelius Ingram from 2005’s quarterback of last resort to Cornelius Ingram, emerging wideout. Ingram initially slid over to TE, where Tate Casey hadn’t exactly been marking his territory effectively, but began to pull down the ball often enough to justify a full-fledged switch to wideout. (HT: WATB)

Ingram wouldn’t make you gasp throwing the ball, but in last year’s Orange and Blue Game Ingram did display a promising trait; the ability to knock whole academic subjects out of people’s brains when he took off and ran. Gatorzone’s got him at 6′4″, 209, but he hits above his pay grade and is shifty for a giraffe-sized human. To add bonus to bonuses, he threw a TD to Leak on a trick play in practice this week. All very good news for a team still searching for a complete and emerged wideout corps, and a potential make-happy story for a highly touted recruit who quit the eventual national champion basketball team to focus on football.

You, next to either Cornelius Ingram or Dallas Baker.

The All-Name Team is brewing-really, we have to wait for Phil Steele to drop his masterpiece on the world in June before we can get into the research in earnest-but an early starter must be I-Perfection Harris, late of Georgia Tech.

He’s intrigue. He’s romance. He’s abstract ideas in a braided, majoring-in-management concrete form. His name could mean so many different things it’s silly, but just to propose a few:

Simple declarative: As in, “I-Perfection, You-notsomuch. ”

Bizarre religious affirmation. His name really wouldn’t seem out of place on the back of a Dr. Bronner’s soap bottle or in the lines of an abstruse Five Percent Nation tract: And then BEHOLD walking the Earth and ALL ITS DOMAINS came the icon of icons the KING of all KINGS I-PERFECTION whose name shall be I-PERFECTION which shall be hollowed all the world ’round as the PROPHET WITHOUT PEER now buy my soap/incense/holy cleaning solution…

Extended French transliteration. Like hyperpuissant or hypermarche, the addition of “hyper” to perfection pronounced in French. “Not just a name, honey, but a concept : not just perfection, but ‘Hyper-perfection!’ Or even, ‘I-Perfection’ to add some zazz to it. Either that or we name him after my cousing Athol, Uncle Dick, or my great-grandfather Rectum. Your choice.”

EXCITING BONUS I-TIDBIT: His brother? I-Supreme.

I-Perfection: prophet of all prophets.

The fumblerooski is officiallybanned in the USA now that The National Federation of State High School Associations has killed the offensive lineman’s dream play. The NFL went Governor Martinez on the play in the 1960s to which college followed suit a decade ago. Now, the big, fat, slow, white kids will have to line up in the backfield or run the tackle eligble play to get some glory.

Move over Luke, you’ve got company.

Predictably this whole thing gets fishier and fishier…Logan Young, the Alabama booster found dead in his “blood-soaked” home, may have been the victim of “an accident,” according to Memphis police who are backing off labeling Young’s death a homicide despite allegedly identifying the body with dental records due to the damage to Young’s body.

What sort of an accident could leave a man dead and his house covered with blood? Besides running downstairs while juggling chainsaws drunk? Anonymous reader #1 speculates:

i think he startled his pet ninja, which was asleep in the liquor cabinet, and the ninja totally flipped out on him and cut his head off. technically if your pet kills you because you startled it, that qualifies as an accident.

We mean this will all reverence for the dead: if anyone would have had a pet ninja in their liquor cabinet, it would have been Logan Young. (Ninja stories seem to be in the water lately…and no, for the record, the “Pirates and Ninjas” party took lace at UGA, not Georgia Tech. Ninjas are sooooo ‘93.)

Ninjas: could explain a lot.

As we talked about here, we knew the Ohio State fans wouldn’t be happy with the fugly Phil Knight uniforms. No word on whether Woody Hayes has been heard from yet, but the fans aren’t happy about the lack of gray in the jerseys.

As Woody demonstrates here, what is the red worth without the gray?

No, not insulting Florida State or Tennessee, but hitting the links. Now that the Gamecocks are done with spring practice, it is back to his favorite passtime as Spurrier proved to be the big draw at Hilton Head Island at the Verizon Heritage pro-am. It is little stories like this make me still wonder what the hell he was thinking when he left the college game?

Now comfortably back in the college game, he’s free to spend time on his two favorite hobbies again.