A rare problem in the offseason: too much to cover. But here's a slapdash review of the most interesting spring games unfolding across the college football nation this past weekend.
--Run for the hills: Art Kehoe, the former 'Canes line demon who Coker pinkslipped following the Peach Bowl debacle, has been officially described as:
"arguably even more intense than live-wire head coach Ed Orgeron"
In the name of all that is holy, stay out of this man's way; a mere glance in your direction could snap vertebrae. His side romped in the Ole Miss spring game, and provided still more buzz around an Ole Miss program bound for great improvement in the fall. Even if they muddle around at 5-6--likely, given the continual talent imbalance they have as a smallish SEC school recruiting in a smallish talent pool--it'll be one of those "scare the piss out of you" 5-6 records, since they'll likely jump around the field like mutant fleas until talent differentials and the forces of football gravity take hold. They're still a year away, despite having all the good karma that comes with having a player named BenJarvus Green-Ellis on their team.
Art Kehoe: like, FPS Doug intense.
--Clemson spring game: quarterbacks throw a combined 7 INTS. Laura Lauren Bowden takes pants off in celebration.
--G-Day, the 'Dawgs spring practice game, was a sloggy, waterlogged affair we would have attended had we not been obligated to wear our seersucker suit at our sister's wedding and drink a bit too much champagne over the weekend. Kyle and Paul both have their summaries of the game here. Stafford appears to look the part of starter, with Joe Tereshinki offering the best bet in terms of "won't fumble, won't throw picks, won't run off to Honduras with Cuban model in midseason and disappear for six weeks" for the coaching staff. Considering Richt's cautious--some would say grannying--attitude toward play calling, doughboy JT3 likely has the spot nailed down for opening day. All name team nominee? TE NaDerris Ward.
Your turn, Joe.
--USC's spring practice had to be frightening for Trojan fans: no RB, no Reggie Bush, and the dawning of a new era where they might lose one, even two games a year for a while until the beast gets fully retooled. (GADZOOKS!) Boi has a nice bullet-point summary of what he noticed, including Brian Cushing's change in hairstyle and offseason weight gain, Mark "Dirty" Sanchez's lack of length (insert Billy Packer joke about "he's so long, he's hard to handle when he penetrates" gag here,) and the surprise fill-in at running back for USC, linebacker Ryan Powdrell.
Not long; does, however, have the poofy hair of a potentially successful USC qb.