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BUSTIN' MAD LIT CRIT SPEAK: LONGHORNS METAPHOR

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Technology's always amusing. The Gutenberg printing press may have made a few copies of the bible first, but as with the internet, the world's first mass-producing text replicator moved quickly into rapid porn production, which really paid the bills, including such explicit popular titles as "Ein Leichtes Mädchen" and "Die Besserung in die Männerhose." (We swear those are funny, even though they're in a notoriously humor-impaired language.)

Photoshop has enabled fans to take trash-talk to a new, lofty height. For example, we now bust our mad lit-crit skillz on this image sent to us by reader David:

Professor Derrida?

Here the reader inverts the seme/meme of standard Texan iconography by loosening the metaphorical moorings of the Texan longhorn symbol in a direct comparison with the female reproductive system, fusing the savage, Dionysian bravura of animal-enslaving cowboy Wild West imagery with the Apollonian, cold detachment of the anatomical, at once illustrating the anerotic notion of a woman's most private parts cut and illustrated with the same cold calculation as the cattle on a ranch. In one sweeping collision of imagery, womb and cow meet under the scalpel, one enslaved by the lasso and barbed wire, the other by science, culture, and the anatomists' hand. The cowboy is the invisible figure here, framing both with his desire to map, trap, and subdue all that is wild, rhythmic, and natural--in reality, the picture is his.

We'll take our Master's in Bullshit Studies English now, thank you.