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IF RECRUITS COUNTED...UK WOULD BE BALLIN' IN THE FULMER CUP

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We don't even need to write anything framing this. Presented a la carte:(HT: Brian)

University of Kentucky football recruit Jamil Paris was arrested March 10 in his hometown of Vero Beach, Fla., for allegedly beating up Hispanic farm workers and robbing them.

Somehow we don't think his inevitable "one man Minuteman squad defense" is going to fly here. He is, however, just a recruit, which means UK will not be awarded points. A shame, really since you'd need a calculator to figure out the line on this: robbery, grand theft, battery, possession of burglary tools and carrying a concealed weapon. Scientific notation might be necessary.