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SPURRIER TO FOCUS ON DEFENSE. DEFENSE GETS IN BAR FIGHT.

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After one of the all-timers last year for off-season tumult, including players stealing equipment from the South Carolina locker room, we knew things sounded just a little too idyllic in South Carolina. A blemish-free Cocks' offseason pustules up as defensive end Shea McKeen and former linebacker Dustin Lindsay get tagged for FnDC in Columbia early last Friday morning. Lindsay, already booted from the team for failing out of school in January, is wanted by Columbia police for a veritable ODB-esque series of charges: disorderly conduct, trespass after notice and failure to stop on police command, all stemming from a brawl at a local bar called "The Pour House."

Since Spurrier's renewing his triannual vow to pay more attention to the defense (see: learning their names,) we have a suggestion: keep players away from bars with anything resembling the following list of names:

--"Paco's House of Agents 'n Coke Whores."

--"McTipsy's"

--"Overserv'd: Now with Collapsible Stunt Furniture."

--"The Pour House"

--"O'Bombley's: A Taliban Bar." (Just to keep your players off the DHS watch list.)

--"Blasé's on 7th: Now featuring 'Shots For Tots' Tuesdays!"


If she's there, you probably don't want your players there.

Fulmer Cup points awarded on full confirmation: 2, one for the fightin', and one for the fleein'. (HT: reader Kevin M.)