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BROKEBACK BOOTY

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One half of of the most sexually suggestive quarterback duo in the nation, John David Booty, will be out for spring practices with back spasms and disc problems, leaving freshman Mark "Dirty" Sanchez the entirety of spring to sign his name onto the upper lip of Trojan starterdom.

If Sanchez does triumph over Booty, it'll mark the second year in a row that the quarterback perceived to be hottest by Boi From Troy won the starting slot. (Leinart doesn't really count since, as incoming Heisman winner he couldn't have been killed out of the starting spot, but don't stand between us and shoehorning the world into a ridiculous, semi-comic theory. It's something bloggers like to do, we're told.)

So the new rule is: whoever your girlfriend/wife/significant other/mail-order bride/gay dude friend thinks is hotter will inevitably win the starting job over the less fetching challenger. It's the Boi rule, and we'll apply it throughout spring practice to decide quarterback controversies, soliciting input from female readers and the ever-key gay college football fan demo to test its validity.