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JA RULE: THE BLACK SCOTT STAPP

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They came up around the same time, short, gravelly-voiced men whose derivative music and wholehearted embrace of even the most hidebound cliches of their "art" forms made them ideal fodder for the low standards crowd. While Stranko may be obsessed with the vanilla version, we're intrigued by the chocolate power midget rap variation of power rock Jesus: Ja Rule. (We'd use hip-hop here, but doesn't Ja Rule fit more with "rappers" like Skee-lo, Kool Moe Dee, and Chubb Rock, and less with hip-hoppers like Nas and Jay-Z? That's what we thought.)

We swear there's a connection between the normal focus of this blog and Ja Rule...and here it is. Ja Rule is currently crawling in the steam pipes beneath Vanderbilt filming a horror movie, "Furnace." As if this weren't funny enough, Danny Trejo, the pockmarked badass from ConAir and umm...Spy Kids is in it, as well, making it all work for on a $1 million dollar budget and some generous cooperation from the Vandy administration. Just now, some unfortunate Vandy student just leapt from a toilet, paralyzed by the horror of hearing Ja Rule's voice bubbling up from the innards of the pipeworks. It's murdahhhh...

What's my motherfuckin' name? (D-O-N-E...)