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SELL STOCK IN ANN ARBOR PITCHFORK/TORCH LTD.: HERRMANN GONE

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Save the riot points and calm yourself, fool: Jim Herrmann, the "innovative"* defensive coordinator for the Michigan Wolverines, has left his job to coach linebackers for the New York Jets, which Herrmann calls "an exciting move."** When asked what circumstances--say, fans hanging you in effigy, burying dead chickens under your doorstep, and sending you pictures of your daughters getting on the school bus in the morning--led to his departure, Herrmann simply said "The pieces fell together at the right time."*** Brian has the Michigan blogerati response in full.

In other notable "used to be the toaster, now he just the toast" coaching news, Charlie Taaffe resigns his post as OC at Maryland. Taaffe resigns despite coaching the two most prolific offenses in school history in 2001 and 2002, though a two-year plague of turnovers and inability to groom a qb probably had much to do with the departure. Friedgen says he'll hire an OC to replace him and maintain his CEO's role on staff, which is well documented in the chapter on Maryland in Every Week A Season. The most important thing to remember here is that Charlie Taaffe's retirement robs us of the only coach whose name fits perfectly into D4L's "Laffy Taffy."

Shake that Charlie Taaffe!
That Charlie Taaffe, Terp!
Shake that Charlie Taaffe,
That Charlie Taaffe, Terp!

*Allows offenses two second head start following snap.
** "chance to bail on current job without suffering resume hemorrhage"
*** Fraternalistic G.O.B. network bails me out before I find razor blades in my Reuben--again.


Gone, but not forgotten.