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ROLL CALL!

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If everyone had to get married to someone all at once on their eighteenth birthday all on the same day across the nation...well, it might approximate the clusterfuck that is national signing day. We'll leave Harold Lloyd hanging for a while longer below, since most of the big commits generating nationwide interest have already blushed and said yes to their institutional beaus, but a rapid-fire rundown of the mayhem follows.

The Recruit: as of today running from his constantly buzzing cell phone no more!

--All politics is local, right? In the Gators backyard the big trauma thus far has bubbled up from C.J. Spiller choosing Clemson over Florida. Not surprising, though, considering the glut of recruits at Florida and Spiller's admitted strategizing regarding spotlight time in the program. Big fish, we introduce you to relatively small pond. Swim well, and best of luck.

Little agony in the scaly, cold-blooded ranks of the Gator Nation today, though: the blur of recruiting glee has apparently crippled the Gatorsports site and brought it to its virtual knees, which we take as a good sign that all in the world is right. Percy Harvin: signed. A.J. Jones: signed. (Who?) Tebow: living on campus and attempting to break in his Danny Wuerffel starter kit by speaking at churches and tiptoeing gently across puddles and other small bodies of water without hitting the ground. Mas importante: Meyer's grabbing tonnage like a drunk guy at closing time, recruting deep at every position and nabbing gorgons like Corey Hobbs at DT (6-5, 310 lbs.) and Carl Johnson at OL (6-6, 330). By the time they pass through Urban's Hell Camp and get a full round of campus nutrition in them these two should be sleeping on the track team's crash pads, flossing with power lines, and spontaneously pulling smaller objects into their orbit.

Ranging farther afield...FSU's traditional late run comes with a surprising twist this year: a total lack of beef, with few quality O-line prospects recruited for an already fractured offensive line. Jeff Bowden can't be too concerned, since he doesn't want to worry about who's blocking whom anyway. (Plus they didn't get C.J. Spiller, either, which reminds us of another recruiting day maxim: the sorrow of my enemy is the sweet nectar of joy for me. Schadenfreude--it's what's for dinner!) Asked about this, Bobby Bowden said "Mmmrfgggh..."

Miami's recruiting someone fast with a squeaky low SAT score who wants to have sex with women while they simultaneously have sex with his friends, which apparently is neither gay nor creepy in some corners of the world. Michigan's got 18 LOIs and Brian isn't posting pictures of kittens, so Lloyd's contented the torches and pitchforks crowd for the moment with a tastefully solid class. CMS has half of Ohio wearing clip-ons, including RB Chris Wells. Haubert over at ESPN Insider has been hooting over Wake Forest's surprising class, and confirms that Alabama signing OT Andre Smith is a very, very good thing.

Smith looks just like the Bear in this shot, doesn't he?

Paul Westerdawg of Georgia Sports brings us this report from Dawg Nation:

I've long argued that the slogan for the Mark Richt era on the football field should be: "Georgia Football: We make it Harder that It Needs to Be." That sort of slogan would cover the whole inability to blow anyone other than UT and LSU out, and his passionate love affair with Field Goals.

However, the Richt era on the recruiting front has a totally different vibe. Low on drama, low on last minute shockers, low on last minute flaming whiffs. Just consistent Top 10 production.

This year is no exception. The Dawgs signed a consensus Top 5-10 class, and they met most of their needs. The only whiff was at offensive tackle where the Dawgs class is low on quality and quantity. Everywhere else looks solid to spectacular across the board with uber blue chip QB Matt Stafford as the headliner. For Paul Westerdawg's "Grades vs. Needs" along the offensive side of the ball click here.

I'll have the defensive side of the ball done later.

Oh, and according to all our commenters, Joe Pa's dipping his scrotum in Maryland's potatoes all day. (MORE TO COME!!! EVEN THOUGH WE KNOW YOU'RE GLUED TO RIVALS/SCOUT.COM ANYWAY!!!)