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CRAZY NON-FOOTBALL STORY: DOMINATRIX BEATS THE RAP

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Up in Deham, Mass. a dominatrix know as Mistress Lauren M was cleared manslaughter and of dismembering a corpse to conceal the death. The 53-year-old misbehaver suffered a heart attack in 2000 during a bondage session in a "dungeon" in which he was strapped to a replica of a medieval rack. The dominatrix was accused of leaving him on said rack for upwards of five minutes without doing anything to help. Apparently the spankee forgot the safety word in the midst of his infarction. Here's where it gets really weird. Following the death, Prosecutors claimed that had the dominatrix had her boyfriend chop up the body of the 275-pound man and then they dumped it behind a restaurant in Maine. His remains have not been found.

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