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TOTAL FAILURE.

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Somewhere in East Tennessee, a buffet will sit, ravaged by an irresistable force in an orange sweatshirt bent on taking its sorrows out on the sliced meat, steamed vegetables, and ample dessert bar of a Ponderosa Family Steakhouse. Somewhere an innocent civilian will disappear into the maw of a frustrated football coach rampaging through the streets of Knoxville. Somewhere, Randy Sanders is putting the finishing touches on a Best Buy application.

Three words for the season long collapse culminating in a loss to Vanderbilt at home: total, abject failure. And in the course of disappointing season, we've learned to seek shelter in the greatest friend to a frustrated fan: schadenfreude. Tennessee was picked by some to win the national championship. Now they're ineligble for the Music City Bowl. This life thing works out well sometimes.

Herr Angioplasty adds up the total number of victories for UT this season.