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MICHIGAN STATE FANS DEMAND COACH'S HEAD, NEW PUPPY

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In the Michigan State Spartan call-in show on Saturday, 90 percent of callers touched on the necessity of firing John L. Smith as head coach for his 5-5 record this season. Other interesting percentages from the program's callers:

--34 percent believe Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church. .
--65 percent have personally spoken with Nick Saban's people about returning.
--70 percent of callers voiced the need for a perfect season, and more blow jobs, too.
--80 percent wanted a pony and candy right that instant.
--90 percent believed that Flint "offered a lifestyle second only to that of ancient Babylon"
--45 percent voiced concern over the declining quality of the steak fingers at the Ponderosa buffet on East Court Street.
--55 percent announced their willingess to fight anyone, anywhere for any reason at any time.

Flint: feelin' it!