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PRODUCTIVITY-SAPPING REQUIRED READING

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Normally, we leave the mass-summary of the internet's finest to Brian's Unverified Voracity, but a few important works merit mention here:

--First, Warren interviews the "Lee Corso is a Penis" guy. Magnificent coverage of a story that reflects everything we fight for as Americans. Fuck yeah!

--We also have this staggering quote from Peter King, who we have now vowed to hit with the thrown chassis of a Dodge Charger the next time we see him. Stand agog, dear reader. (First via the badddd blog Gunslingers.

I think the one thing you can't understand unless you live somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard between Washington and Boston -- or unless you once lived there -- is the intensity of a big sports event.

We were going to respond to this, but we were eating a cinnamon bun. Oh, it's the best cinnamon bun in the world, and it's soooo different from any other cinnamon bun we've ever had. It's got this cream cheese frosting on the top, and this delicious gooey dough, and it's so hot and toasty, and we know what you're thinking: sure, man, that sounds like any other regular cinnamon bun in the world. But it's different man, it's like a totally different thing, and you just can't get it because it's my favorite cinnamon bun and yours is totally teh sux0rs and mine's not and you just suck and that....that is sad for you.

When we get mad, and we get pissed, Pete, we take a pen and we make a list. You've made our shit list. Shiiiittttttttt.....LIST. This from a man who pimps Starbucks like they're giving his fat ass free reacharounds. Appalling.

Peter King: you haven't lived 'till you've been to a Nets/Knicks game.

--And there's the matter of our interview with All Things Longhorn, where we talk about our favorite beauty pageant contestant, Ms. Bucksnort.