WTF.
Rich Brooks will serve out the fourth year of his sentence contract as Kentucky’s Nero grumbling figurehead coach. Un-fucking-believable.
November 8, 2025
MORE HARRIS POLL FUN: DICK HARMON HATES ON PSU
The geriatric-rife Harris poll continues to delight fans of absurd theaterthis week, voter Dick Harmon elects to place Penn State at 17, behind-ahem!-TCU, Florida State, and Texas Tech.
In happier news, “Strained Peas” rose this week to 9 in the general poll, with “Pill Lady” and “Touched By An Angel” reruns making strong debuts in the lower teens.
Abe Vigoda, Harris Poll voter.
JOHNSON STILL UPSET OVER LATE CELEBRATION CALL
And he should be. Watch this videofor further evidence that “Gettin’ Jiggy With It” can hurt you.
PRODUCTIVITY-SAPPING REQUIRED READING
Normally, we leave the mass-summary of the internet’s finest to Brian’s Unverified Voracity, but a few important works merit mention here:
-First, Warren interviews the “Lee Corso is a Penis” guy. Magnificent coverage of a story that reflects everything we fight for as Americans. Fuck yeah!
-We also have this staggering quote from Peter King, who we have now vowed to hit with the thrown chassis of a Dodge Charger the next time we see him. Stand agog, dear reader. (First via the badddd blog Gunslingers.
I think the one thing you can’t understand unless you live somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard between Washington and Boston — or unless you once lived there — is the intensity of a big sports event.
We were going to respond to this, but we were eating a cinnamon bun. Oh, it’s the best cinnamon bun in the world, and it’s soooo different from any other cinnamon bun we’ve ever had. It’s got this cream cheese frosting on the top, and this delicious gooey dough, and it’s so hot and toasty, and we know what you’re thinking: sure, man, that sounds like any other regular cinnamon bun in the world. But it’s different man, it’s like a totally different thing, and you just can’t get it because it’s my favorite cinnamon bun and yours is totally teh sux0rs and mine’s not and you just suck and that….that is sad for you.
When we get mad, and we get pissed, Pete, we take a pen and we make a list. You’ve made our shit list. Shiiiittttttttt…..LIST. This from a man who pimps Starbucks like they’re giving his fat ass free reacharounds. Appalling.
Peter King: you haven’t lived ’till you’ve been to a Nets/Knicks game.
-And there’s the matter of our interview with All Things Longhorn, where we talk about our favorite beauty pageant contestant, Ms. Bucksnort.
SPURRIER MEMORIES: PART ONE
In case you didn’t know it, the University of Florida will be playing the University of South Carolina in a game of football this weekend. The current coach of the Gamecocks, Steven Orr Spurrier, came to the job via a long and mostly distinguished coaching career highlighted by a long, successful run at the University of Florida. The run peaked with a national championship in 1996, the only one the Gators have ever won. He departed the team at the end of the 2001 season to take a position with the Washington Redskins, where he endured a rocky two-year tenure before resigning and ultimately returning to the college game.
(It hurt…our…fingers to type that with such restraint. What we really wanted to say was this: Spurrier fucking rocks. Rocks rocks rocks. Rocks so hard he breaks six guitar strings a song…and he doesn’t even play guitar. Rocks like Bruce Dickinson of Iron Maiden would in a concert in hell. Rocks so fucking hard the Himalayas shudder when he farts and the oceans ripple when he sneezes. If life were Clash of the Titans, you’d be lameass loincloth-wearing Harry Hamlin and he’d be Lawrence Olivier as Zeus with the badass spectral laser aura surrounding his head…but less gay about the whole thing. He’s bad and you’re not and it sucks but that’s too bad unless you’re Steve Spurrier and then it doesn’t so there. )
Directions: repeat to self, “You suck! I don’t! Ha!” Apply to world.
Ahem. Back to the whole composure thing…oh, yeah. That guy-our former coach. The man who taught us that revenge, far from being at its peak in a chilled state, is best served flaming on the end of a pike flying ninety miles an hour at your opponent’s head. (more…)
TUESDAY SPECIAL: WVU/CINCINNATI
We dropped the ball and failed to post Solon’s Wednesday night special due to heavy drinking and general flake-itude. This week we not only post it, but give you a day to think about joining Solon’s unstoppable West Virginia bandwagon.
West Virginia (-14.5) v. CINCINNATI
This game should play out much differently than last week’s West Va game, but the end result should be the same. Whereas UConn has a decent D but no O, Cincy has a decent O but no D. The only teams that Cincinnati has played this season with any quality are Penn State and Louisville-Penn St led them 42-10 before giving up 2 TDs in the last 90 seconds, and Louisville defeated them 46-22 in a game that was 39-7 with just over 5 minutes left. Their other results have been mixed, but there is nothing to suggest that they will be able to do anything against the West Va D, which will be one of the two best they have faced (along with Penn State’s). On the other side of the ball, West Va should have a breakout day against the Cincy D, which is particularly poor against the pass; if you take out games against 1-AA Western Carolina, a UConn backup QB, and Eastern Michigan, they are giving up 8.84 ypp with a 9:2 ratio. Keep in mind that this slate includes only one elite passing attack (Louisville), and they gave up more than 10 yards/pass against PSU QB Robinson and Syracuse’s mediocre attack. West Va does not throw much but they should light it up against this pass D. They should also run the ball and should get the cover as long as they do not get backdoored.
West Virginia should win, but as always, beware the backdoor action.
DOC PEDRO’S SOLUTION TO THE BCS
Doc Pedro takes a break from less important matters, like medical school, to surface again and give us his diagnosis of how to fix the BCS.
Let me start out by saying that Virginia Tech’s loss this weekend did more to hurt the BCS then help it. How can this be you say. Well, Miami showed that the best team at the end of a season is not necessarily the best team at the beginning of the season.
So next you say we need a committee to decide who plays in the championship game. Nope that doesn’t work either people are subjective and inherently full of bias for one reason or another. ie. Take a look at this week’s AP poll with a one loss Miami ahead of an undefeated Alabama. Objective computers that factor human components are the way to go. The problem with the BCS is that it does not select enough teams; thusly not allowing teams to settle the National Championship on the field.
What I am proposing is a BCS playoff system, using the current BCS computer ranking systems. What makes me “Doc Pedro” qualified to make a grandiose proposal of this nature: nothing really other than a lifetime of love for college football, an Ivy League degree with a graduate specialty in the study of systems and their related outcomes.
Read through the whole proposal and how the system would play out if it were in place this year and then let me know what you think.
